To the best of my knowledge, exactly 5 pictures of me exist from the time I was born until I was 18 years old. Madison will turn 15 months old this month and I believe we must have at least 57,000.
Over the years, my sisters and I have sniped at our parents for not taking any pictures of us growing up. They’ve been consistent in their defense. My dad specifically recounts visiting the zoo when we were little, watching all the parents with their eyes glued to the viewfinders on their cameras, literally missing those moments they were trying so desperately to capture. He decided it was better to just enjoy the moment, in the moment.
And though I’ve heard that story many, many times over the years, I have to admit that I often find myself undecided on this particular subject. I want to be present (in contrast to just being ‘there’) for all the great milestones in Madison’s life, but I’ve come to appreciate how quickly they all seem to happen, and then pass us by. It really does get hard not to see every new outing as a critical photo opp.
So yesterday, when we decided to take our own little family to the SF Zoo, there was no way I was leaving the camera behind. For good measure, I was also going to have my iPhone handy for the more immediate gratifications of photo messages and Facebook status updates.
It all started out great. Madison was as wide-eyed as I’ve ever seen her. And I was getting some cool shots; the hippo, especially, seemed like he was taking his job as tourist attraction and spectacle very seriously. But the more I fumbled with my equipment, and the more I started to look at Denise and Madison as props in my own personal zoo photoshoot, the more I realized that I was starting to get it all wrong. I was investing more time worrying about what photo would show well in an album (or on a blog) than in just enjoying the beautiful San Francisco day and the time with family. I was doing what my parents had chosen not to.
That’s when I decided to put the cameras down.
What’s here are a few of the photos I did take before I stopped. And don’t get me wrong; I’m glad I took them. I don’t plan to ever stop taking them. Because I’m sure the old memory will appreciate some visual aids when I try to revisit these days in the coming years. And I’m also sure Madison will someday want to see us all together, looking super young and happy. I just want to make sure to never let chasing the memories become more important than making them in the first place.
madsiers 